1、These words help me remember why embracing my essence is always the best thing to do. Perhaps this may resonate with where you are.
这些话让我想起欣然接受自己的本质始终是上策的原因。或许这也会与你产生共鸣。
2、All too often, women are in a hurry. We want to hurry up and find THE GUY, get married, have babies, buy a house, etc. We don’t enjoy the seasons of life we are in.
女人总是生活得匆匆忙忙。我们想要赶快找到自己的梦中情人、结婚成家、生孩子、买房子等等等等，我们从未享受过自己生活的四季变迁。
3、I am taking this time to reflect on my single days in writing a letter to my single self. I want to remind her of a few things.
此刻，我想给自己写一封信，反思一下自己单身期间的生活状况，有几件事我想要提醒她。
4、So it’s a Monday night, you have your wine, Twitter is open and you are live-tweeting The Bachelor thinking to yourself, “Where is my rose” Let me tell you, Neely, once you are married, these Bachelor nights will not look much different. Only instead of wine, you’ll be eating dinner with your husband, still live-tweeting.
今天是周一，晚上，你喝着红酒，开着推特，你一边看着《亿万未婚夫》一边用推特吐槽，心里想着，“我的王子会在哪儿呢？”让我告诉你吧，一旦你结婚了，那些看《亿万未婚夫》的夜晚也不会有什么不同，不过你不是在喝红酒，而是和你的丈夫一起吃着晚餐，手里还是在刷推特在线吐槽。
5、Anyway, Single Neely, enjoy this time. Not because it’s better than marriage — trust me, marriage is better. But enjoy it because you should be appreciating time with yourself and learning who you are. Go out with your friends more. Do all the happy hours, drink all the wines, and flirt with the cute waiter. Why Because WHY NOT!
单身的妮莉，无论如何，请享受这一刻。不是因为单身比婚后生活好——相信我，婚后生活更幸福。你要享受这段时间的原因是，你应该珍惜独处的时间，并借此机会更了解自己，多和朋友们聚聚，多做让你开心的事情，多去喝喝红酒，跟可爱的服务生调情，为什么要这样做？因为你为什么不这样做呢？
6、When that guy ghosts you after three great dates, it stings. You think, What did I do wrong Trust me — it’s him. He has issues that he will feel the need to share with you three years later. Sigh. Men.
当一个男人跟你一起度过了三次绝妙的约会，却甩了你，这确实很糟糕，你会想，我做错了什么？相信我——是他有问题，他心里有一些缺陷，他觉得自己应该在三年之后再和你分享他的故事。哎，男人就是这样！
7、When you and He Who Shall Not Be Named go back and forth, up and down, and hot and cold, just shake your head, nod and smile and know that “This too shall pass.” You’ll end it when you’ve REALLY had enough, and thank God you did.
当你和某某人在一起经历了无数感情波折、感情颠簸、热战冷战，你就摇摇头，给自己一个微笑，告诉自己，“这些都会过去的。”当你觉得自己真的受够了，你就能够放手了，谢天谢地你真的做到了。
8、Remember your favorite episode of How I Met Your Mother, Remember what Stella says to Ted: “I know that you are tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.” That quote is so true. Replay it over and over and over. Just sub in “she” for “he” and “Ted” for “Neely.” You get it!
还记得《老爸老妈浪漫史》中你最喜欢的一集，记得斯泰拉对泰德说的话，“我知道你已经厌倦了等待，或许你不得不再多等一会儿，不过她已经在朝你走来了。泰德，她正在全速朝你奔过来。”这段话真是至理名言，你要一遍一遍的重温这句话。只要把“她”换成“他”，把“泰德”换成“妮莉”，懂了吧！
9、Girl, you are single; one day you will look back, and even though you are beyond happily married, you will remember the boozy brunches, marathon shopping sessions, random road trips, and late nights spent on the phone with your best friend talking about nothing.
姑娘，现在你还单着，虽然你还没有找到幸福的婚姻生活，不过当某天你回头看时，你会怀念那些微醺的早中餐、马拉松式的购物行动、随心闲逛的公路旅行，还有那些和闺蜜闲聊至深夜然而并没有什么信息量的夜晚。
10、Now, your husband comes first. You think of his needs, his wants, his TV shows （mostly yours still）， the foods he wants to eat, and what you two will do together every weekend. It’s wonderful and magical and you wouldn’t trade it for the world. But don’t be in such a hurry to let go of your single self too soon.
现在，你的丈夫才是第一位的。你要顾虑他的感受、他的需求、他想要吃的食物、你们每个周末要去做些什么活动。这种生活美好而富有魅力，即便给你一个宇宙你也不愿意舍弃它。可是，请不要着急着太过早地放弃你单身时的自我。
11、i have in my hands two boxes which god gave me to hold. he said, ”put all your sarrows in the black box,and all your joys in the gold.” i heeded his words, and in the two boxes both my joys and sarrows i stored.
我手上拿着上帝给的两个盒子。他说：“把你所有的悲伤放进黑色的盒子，所有的快乐放进金色的盒子。”我按照他的话做了，在两个盒子里存放了我的快乐和悲伤。
12、but though the gold became heavier each day, the black was as light as before. with curiosity, i opened the black: i wanted to find out why. and i saw, in the base of the box, a hole which my sorrows had fallen out by.
然而，虽然那个金色的盒子的重量每天都有所增加，但是黑色盒子却轻如以前。出于好奇，我打开了黑色的盒子，我想找到原因。我看到，盒子的底部有一个洞，我的悲伤就是从那里漏掉了。
13、We’ve all heard the quote, ‘Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.’
我们都听过这句话：“要善良，因为你遇到的每个人都在经历某种痛苦。”
14、My husband and son died within two years of each other. From my personal experience, I believe that if we aren’t careful, grief can become a rather self-involved process in which we can become so focused on our own suffering that we miss the opportunity to connect with, and possibly bring comfort to, someone else who may be going through a similar experience.
我的丈夫和儿子两年内相继去世。从我的个人经验来看，我相信我们一不小心就会被伤痛左右，以自己为中心，我们会变得过于关注自己的痛苦，而错失和正经历相似痛苦的人接触的机会，也无法给予他们安慰。
15、Six months after my husband died, I was sinking in the quicksand of grief. I could not pull myself out of the misery.
那时，我真的认为自己的生活要比身边任何人都不容易。生活给我上了完美的一课，通过这次不幸我认清了一个事实：顾影自怜使我看不到别人，只看到自己。
16、In that moment, I actually believed that my life was more difficult than anyone else around me. Life handed me a perfectly wrapped lesson that opened my eyes to the fact that through my suffering I had allowed myself to become blinded by my self-pity.
我在健康出现问题时吸取了这个教训。我的外科手术引发了并发症，最终住院4天。那段时期我极其痛苦，身体的疼痛和精神上的伤痛把我夹在中间，我的生活一团糟。
17、The lesson presented itself in a health crisis. I had complications from a surgical procedure and ended up being hospitalized for four days. I was in an extreme amount of pain during this time. Between the physical pain and the emotional pain of grief, I was an absolute mess.
我也应该告诉你我是一名注册护士。对护士而言，很难接受自己成为病人并进行药物治疗这种事。
18、Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,” the maxim goes.
从根本上来讲，我们的个性是塑成习惯的成分之一。有一句箴言讲到：“播下一个想法，收获一个行动；播下一个行动，收获一个习惯；播下一个习惯，收获一个性格；播下一个性格，收获一份命运。”
19、Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
习惯是我们生活中有力的因素。因为习惯的持续性，人们常常不能意识到它们。于是，每一天，我们的习惯总在彰显着我们的性格，我们是否有效率也源自习惯。
20、As Horace Mann, the great educator, once said, “Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken.” I personally do not agree with the last part of his expression. I know habits can be learned and unlearned. But I also know it isn’t a quick fix. It involves a process and a tremendous commitment.
正如伟大的教育学家霍瑞斯·曼曾经说的那样：“习惯犹如一根缆绳。我们每日为其编织一股，不久它便不容易断裂。”我个人不认同他最后一段的表达。我知晓有些习惯是后天习得的，而有些则是不学就有的。可我也明白习惯无法速成，它是一段涉及郑重承诺的过程。
21、Those of us who watched the lunar voyage of Apollo 11 were transfixed as we saw the first men walk on the moon and return to earth. But to get there, those astronauts literally had to break out of the tremendous gravity pull of the earth. More energy was spent in the first few minutes of lift, in the first few miles of travel, than was used over the next several days to travel half a million miles.
我们之中见证过阿波罗11号登月的人，当看到人类在月球上跨出第一步并返回地球时，瞠目结舌。但为了抵达月球，毫不夸张地说，这些宇航员得挣脱地球对其极大的地心引力。在升起的头几分钟、太空旅程的头几英里中，宇航员耗费的能量要远大于之后几天五十万英里旅程中的能量。
22、Habits, too, have tremendous gravity pull more than most people realize or would admit. Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little willpower and a few minor changes in our lives. “Lift off” takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension.
习惯也具有极强的牵引力，比大多数人意识到或承认的还来得多。对于一些根深蒂固的习惯，像是拖延症、不耐烦、挑剔或自私，它们违反了人类效率的基本原则。而要戒掉这些陋习，仅靠那一丁点的意志力和生活中极小的改变，是无济于事的。“起飞时分”要付出巨大努力，而一旦我们挣脱地心引力，我们享有的自由便会展现出一个全新的维度。
23、Like any natural force, gravity pull can work with us or against us. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go. But it is also gravity pull that keeps our world together, that keeps the planets in their orbits and our universe in order. It is a powerful force, and if we use it effectively, we can use the gravity pull of habit to create the cohesiveness and order necessary to establish effectiveness in our lives.
与其他自然力一样，地心引力对我们而言，是助力，亦可是对抗力。我们一些习惯所具有的引力也许正在妨碍我们抵达目的地。然而同时也是地心引力将世界凝聚，使各大行星在轨道上运转，让我们的宇宙井然有序。引力是很强大的，我们倘若能有效运用它，便可用习惯的引力来创建凝聚力和秩序，使我们的生活有效率。
24、I should also tell you that I am a Registered Nurse. As a nurse, it is hard to be on the receiving end of medicine as the patient.
住院的前三个晚上同一位护士护理我。她挺年轻，可能快30岁。头两个晚上几乎不怎么跟我说话，除了定期来给我送药。很明显她不知道我精神上有多痛苦。问问你的病人感觉怎么样能有多难？我认定她是不合格的护士，缺乏同情心，而且我依然沉浸在自己精神和身体的痛苦中。
25、The first three nights that I was in the hospital, the same nurse took care of me. She was young, maybe in her mid to late 20s, and she hardly interacted with me at all the first two nights, other than to give my medications as scheduled. She obviously had no idea how much emotional pain I was in. How hard is it to ask your patient how she’s feeling I wrote her off as a bad nurse who had little empathy, and remained absorbed in my own emotional and physical pain.
第三天晚上这个年轻的护士开始打开了话匣子，她问我感觉怎样（终于问了！）。我告诉她我正挣扎于沮丧和痛苦之中，因为我丈夫死于一场飞机事故。
26、The third night the young nurse was a little more talkative. She asked me how I was feeling （finally!）。 I told her that I was struggling with depression and grief because my husband had died in an airplane accident.
她看着我，跟我说她丈夫就在两个月前刚刚去世。我有点不知所措，说不出话，我被惊到了！
27、She looked at me and told me that her husband had died too, just two months earlier. I was stunned. Speechless. Shocked.
Never, in any of the possibilities that my mind entertained of why this nurse was so stand-offish with me, did I even consider that she might be in the same pain I was. Not only was she grieving as I was, but she was having to take care of me, instead of caring for herself and her family.
我从未想过她对我如此冷淡会是因为这个，我甚至都没想过她可能会有同样的痛苦。她不仅和我一样悲痛，而且还要照顾我，而不是照顾她自己和家人。
我们继续讨论分享我们丈夫和孩子的事，我觉着我们那天晚上都给了彼此一点帮助。
28、We went on to talk and share our stories about our late husbands and children. I like to think that we helped each other a bit that night.
我们之间的共同点比我想的要多，我们都成了单亲妈妈，孩子都还小，而且都是护士。但也就这些了，她丈夫没有保险，家里经济来源很少，她就靠着一点工资养活家里的男孩儿们。我觉着自愧不如，我意识到自己该有多知足。坦白说，这次经历改变了我对生活的看法。(www.haocihaoju.cn)
29、We had much more in common than I would have believed. We were both widowed single moms with young children, and nurses. But, that was where the similarities ended. Her husband had no insurance policy. She had very little family support. She was working paycheck to paycheck to support her boys. I was humbled. I realized how much I had to be grateful for. And, frankly, I never saw life the same way after this experience.
这次的经历改变了我的生活，之前我总是对自己的同情心引以为傲，但现在我意识到了我根本没理解同情的真谛。
30、This experience was a life-changing event for me. I had always prided myself on being an empathetic person, but I realize now that I had not really understood what being empathetic meant.
想要具备真正的同情心，你的眼光必须超越你自己的伤痛，以局外人的角度看待自己的痛苦。从那之后，我看待别人的眼光也不一样了。
